20 is a number which ends the journey of 10 to 19 and the beginning point of 20 to 29. When you rotate it with 90o in clockwise direction, you will find that it will be a person who closes an eye, opening his mouth with agape. This was my expression about my life journey in 2012, wondering the things that were happened in life. You could say that many questions indeed played my mind. Pains and sorrows are found in life but leading someone to be more mature and strong to face the giants in life. Trials and tribulations are encountered until now but I believe that ‘when there is a will, there is a way’.
Truth to be told, I remembered that there were several incidents happened in my dad’s company during February, resulting in around RM300,000 was lost due to the damages of storeroom, stocks and lorry. Moreover, the economics of the nation was not that good. People didn’t have the ability to buy goods and pay the other expenditures. Take for an example, the price of rubber had dropped from around RM5 to RM2.50 only per kg. We had to encounter the heavy expenditures although the family income dropped drastically. That was the beginning point that my family had to bear the financial crisis. Moreover, my parents had to carry the burden of my sister’s education fees and her expenditures who studies MBBS in private college.
It became worsened when my family informed me that they failed to support me for further study. Perhaps I had to work to overcome the financial problem in my family. Fate had struck a cruel blow in my life. It dawned on me again when my STPM results were not that well as expected. Somehow or rather, the dream of applying scholarships was crashed! I had to accept the fact that all my efforts were proved to futile to succeed in it, the pain was too excruciating for me. Mere words were hard to describe the feelings. An icy knife was struck into heart several times. That was the darkest period in my life, I had no solution to tackle the problem.
Life journey is never easy to pass through except by His fullness mercy and grace only. I was put to testify again when the sales were not that high to get better salary for obtaining tertiary education fees. Lacking of working and social experiences besides knowledge were factors to stumble me to succeed it, struggling with heavy pressure. People tend to bully you when you are too green and weak especially you are newbie, tears could be found streaming down the face in the silent nights. You will be blamed as good for nothing when you do mistakes although insufficient in experiences and knowledge. Several examinations were taken during these 9 months due to insufficient in English skills.
“My son, be strong and encourage like Joseph and Joshua. When you are weak, I will call you to be strong. My spirit will abide in you, I will add you the wisdom and to be found favor before the customers. Remember, my presence will go with you when you go to anywhere. I will never abandon you to be alone to face the storms in life, they will be calmed down. I will let you to be wiser and more intelligent than the others especially among the competitors,” God said.
Most of my competitors were more than 30 years old, having at least 10 years of working experience in the field. Heavenly Father had given me the grace to stand among them. Although I am young, I could still be able to competitive with them, proving that I was not the one should be looked down in the abilities besides knowledge especially background science and mathematics knowledge. Perhaps I was lacking of experience in working, social and knowledge of products compared with them.
“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the others, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”(1 Timothy 4:12)
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I had spent around RM6000 for the fees of university, the necessarities, laptop just to list a few. However, I had saved around RM8000 in these 8 months to cover all the expenditures for entering the university. Finally, I did it!
I wished I could turn back the clockwise, but it’s useless and too late to cry over spilt milk. However, God is so faithful, He will never despite a desperate and broken spirit. When there is a door closed, another door will be opened to enter His promise. Finally I was announced that I would enter University of Science Malaysia(USM). God answered my prayer to enter the university, purchasing tertiary education. Actually I am nothing, just let His wills be fulfilled in life. Although I could not see all the journey of life, He had still opened a way for me to walk through the darkness. When I had financial problems, God sent someone to help me, leading me to go out from the problem. Remember, He will fulfill all your needs and necessaries when you call upon His name. It looks simple but it is a truth, what you need to do is just to believe His words.
When I entered the university, I had received the call from my parents that my dad was hospitalized during December. Somehow or rather, his neck was in great pain. It was very hard for him to move his hands, sleep eluded him due to the intense pain. He failed to bend his neck, he had to take pain killer to relieve the pain. It dawned on me that the nerve of his back neck was pressed by the cartilage. Unfortunately, he could not do any operation but only undergo physiotheraphy or acupuncture and moxibustion. He was predicted to be recovered after at least six months or even a year, having difficulty to work for a moment.
“When you are not around, I will take care them. I will never forsake any one that I love and care. You just commit them to me, remember my eyes are keep watching to ensure your safety when you go to anywhere. The blood of the lamb is covered upon them, my spirit will surround them too. I will send my angels and soldiers to protect them so that they are always in peace. I’m the healer, my promise will never be compromised. Remember, you are not alone to walk in the life journey. I will provide anything you need in your life, and my grace is sufficient for you. Just call upon my name, I will be there to bring you out,” God said.
Perhaps there are many problems in life but strong determination and diligence are the keys to break through them. Do we still remember the time when Israel was destroyed due to conquering of the other nations and how they restore their nation? Hardships and strong determination result in the revival and reborn of their nation. Prayers and helping each others are keys to succeed it. Thus, negative situations lead someone to grow and be more mature.
Friends, when you are in trouble, God will be accompanied with you to get through from the darkness. You will never be alone, He will embrace you to get out from the problems when you are helpless. He will give you the grace and wisdom to pass through the darkness, comforting you when you are desperate and sorrow. People may let you to disappoint but He will never let you down. He is the guidance and light when you are lost in the silhouette. Remember, He will bless you so that your life will be fruitful and meaningful. To God be the glory.
1:4
| Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, |
1:5
| Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. |
(Jeremiah 1:4-5)
“I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”(Philippians 4:13)
You will never be alone in your journey of the life when He is leading your footsteps.
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